Ep 77: The Stirring — When Change Begins with a Whisper

Speaker A: 00:00:01

Hey there and welcome to the Cool Change podcast. I'm Chuck Allen. If you're here, there's a good chance that you have been feeling something, a shift, an itch you can't quite name.

Maybe a low hum in the background of your life that's starting to ask your attention. Doesn't mean anything's broken, doesn't mean anything's wrong. But it might mean that you have reached a threshold.

The quiet moment where you realize, I can't keep living the same way I've been living. Or something's changing, I'm changing. And maybe, just maybe, it's time to listen.

This is Cool Change, a podcast about navigating life's transitions with clarity, intention and integrity. I'm Chuck Allen and this is episode one, the Stirring. This episode kicks off a six part series built around the Cool Change method.

It's a framework I've developed over years of coaching thoughtful, capable people who are ready for more clarity, more intention, and more integrity in how they move through life. Because every journey I've seen, I mean all of them, they start with this same moment, whether they name it this way or not. I call it the stirring.

So let's talk about what that actually is. The stirring is the first signal that something in you is asking to be updated. Not necessarily in a dramatic burn it all down kind of way.

Can be more like a gentle vibration or an invitation. You might feel it as restlessness. You might notice your energy fading in spaces where you used to thrive.

You might catch yourself asking questions like, is this it? Why doesn't this feel like me anymore? Or what am I craving that I haven't even admitted yet?

The stirring is your first clue that the life that you've been living, however successful, however functional, may no longer be fully aligned with who you're becoming. I can tell you a little bit about my own stirring. About eight years ago, I moved to Oregon with my wife, Rilla. Fresh start in a new place.

We were coming from Atlanta and you know, Oregon is stunning, but culturally very different from where I'd come from. At the time, I was still raising my three kids from my first marriage. Their mom, Michelle, lives in Florida.

And despite the distance, we have a really great relationship. So I had a family that I loved. A new place to live, a sense of purpose. From the outside, things looked settled on the inside.

I felt unmoored a little bit. Oregon gave me space, but maybe too much space. At first, I didn't know exactly who I was. In this new version of my life.

The routines that I'd relied on didn't make sense anymore. The roles that I had played for years didn't quite fit.

So I knew I wanted to help people through transitions, through reinvention, because that's what I had done oftentimes, and because I'd been through it on my own. I mean, for years I tried to write a book about it, but, you know, every time I sat down to write, something felt off.

It's like I was trying to teach before I understood what people needed to hear. Like I was talking at an invisible audience instead of actually speaking to anyone. So the manuscript sat unfinished and sat.

Until one day, Rilla looks at me and she's like, are you writing the book or not? I mean, it was gentle, it was honest. And I had to admit, in that moment, no, I'm not actually. But that question cracked something open.

Because even though I wasn't writing, something in me still needed to speak, still needed to create, still needed to connect. And two weeks later, this podcast was born.

Not as a backup plan, not as a consolation prize, but as a different doorway into the same impulse to tell the truth, to be of service and. And to walk alongside others as they navigate change. The book had started to feel too rigid, too polished, too one way.

It asked me to stand on a platform and declare something. But what I really wanted, what I think people crave in moments of transition, is conversation, is resonance, is a sense of, oh, that sounds like me.

So this podcast became that space.

Not a pulpit, a porch, not a program, but a pause somewhere that you could show up with your questions, your contradictions, your half form sense that something's ready to shift and find yourself in someone else's story. That's why cool change exists. Because for many of us, change isn't a loud explosion. It's a quiet knowing that asks for a new kind of presence.

And that's what this moment is. The stirring doesn't need a plan. It just needs your attention.

The stirring doesn't come with a clear timeline or an instruction manual, but once you notice it, it's hard to unnotice. It begins with questions. Questions like, why does this feel flat? What would more aliveness look like? What's been quietly waiting in the wings?

And it often draws your attention to what I call gourmet moments. Maybe you've heard me talk about gourmet moments. These aren't big achievements or Instagram worthy milestones.

They are the quiet, almost forgotten things that, when you're fully present in that moment, feel strangely rich. Could be little things the click of your dog's paws on the hardwoods, the weight of a blanket on your shoulders.

The feeling of being seen in a conversation with no agenda. When you're stirred, you either start craving more of these or you realize how long it's been since you felt one. These are clues.

Clues that your life is nudging you towards something deeper, something more honest. So let's get practical for a minute. If you are sensing a stirring in your own life, try this.

For the next seven days, pay close attention to your internal world. Each day, write down one moment where you felt something real could be. Joy, frustration, calm. Restlessness, tenderness, Wonder.

Then ask yourself, what was happening around me? Not why you felt it, just what was happening when you did. Where were you? What time of day was it? Who were you with? What were you doing?

This isn't about analysis. It's about attention. It's about tuning your awareness to what's quietly trying to speak.

This is the beginning of change, not through effort, but through honesty. And finally, here's what I want to leave you with. You don't have to know what comes next. You don't need a plan.

You don't need to prove that you're ready. You just need to listen. The stirring does not come to disrupt your life.

It comes to remind you that you are still alive, that there's more to you than the roles you play. That something real is asking for a seat at the table again. This is where change begins. Not with certainty, but with willingness.

In the next episode, we're going to talk about the mirror. A guided look at what's really going on, what's working. What no longer is a fit. And what you've been carrying that's no longer yours to hold.

But for now, stay with the stirring. Notice what rises. Capture what matters, and let that quiet pull become a threat you're willing to follow.

If this episode resonated with you, I would love to hear from you.

You can find me on Instagram uckallen or on the web at coolchangelifedesign.com and if you know someone in your life who is standing quietly at the edge of something new, share this with them. Thank you for listening. Talk.