Episode 76
From Anxious to Empowered: How to Train Your Emotions (#76)
In a world fueled by stress and anxiety, emotional awareness is more vital than ever. On this episode of Cool Change, Chuck Allen speaks with Sarah Retzer, a mindfulness coach who transformed herself from a constantly anxious engineer to a thriving expert in emotional resilience.
Sarah shares how discovering mindfulness through InterMatrix Systems allowed her to move beyond simply managing emotions to actively training them—like building muscle at the gym. She explains how emotional patterns shape our reality, why intentional emotional responses are essential, and how we can shift from fear-based reactions to love-based interactions.
Whether you're feeling stuck in anxious loops, overwhelmed by emotions, or simply looking to enhance joy and peace in your daily life, Sarah’s insights offer practical tools to create lasting change.
Key Takeaways:
- Emotions aren’t just reactions; they're patterns that we can consciously reshape.
- Creating space between stimulus and response allows intentional emotional choices.
- Intentional daily practices can shift emotional patterns, enhancing relationships and overall life experience.
- Mindfulness and breathwork techniques effectively rewire emotional responses.
Special Offer:
Sarah is offering Cool Change listeners a complimentary special introductory three-session course designed to help you identify areas of your life ready for transformation, recognize emotional patterns holding you back, and begin the shift toward lasting peace and joy.
Connect with Sarah Retzer:
Phone/Text: 503-929-4632
Email: sarahretzer@innermatrixsystems.com
Recommended Books:
- Emotional Intelligence 2.0* by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves
- The Untethered Soul* by Michael A. Singer
- Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself* by Dr. Joe Dispenza
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Transcript
Hey everyone.
Speaker A:Chuck here.
Speaker A:And today on Cool Change, we're talking emotions.
Speaker A:Not just feeling them, but understanding, choosing and training them.
Speaker A:Just like building muscles at the gym.
Speaker A:My guest today is Sarah Retzer, a mindfulness coach who used to be an anxious engineer, constantly worried about everything from global issues to her dog's limp.
Speaker A:But she discovered something powerful.
Speaker A:Emotions aren't just reactions.
Speaker A:They are patterns that we can reshape.
Speaker A:And in this episode, Sarah and I dive deep into how emotional awareness transforms our relationships, our performance, and ultimately our experience of life itself.
Speaker A:So if you've ever felt stuck in anxious loops or overwhelmed by your feelings, or you simply want to create a little more joy and peace in your day to day life, then this conversation may be for you.
Speaker A:Stick around.
Speaker A:This is Cool Change.
Speaker A:Your day is about to get better.
Speaker A:Welcome to Cool Change podcast.
Speaker A:Hosted by Chuck Allen.
Speaker A:This podcast shares captivating conversations that encourage you to reimagine your life.
Speaker A:After all, you're going to make a change at some point, right?
Speaker A:Why not make it cool?
Speaker A:Hey friends.
Speaker A:Welcome back to Cool Change, the podcast for people who are navigating life's transitions with intention and heart.
Speaker A:Today we are diving into a conversation that feels especially timely in a world that seems to run on stress and reactivity.
Speaker A:My guest today is Sarah Retzer.
Speaker A:She's a mindfulness coach with a powerful story of transformation.
Speaker A:She was once a self proclaimed anxious engineer who worried about everything from climate change to her limping dog.
Speaker A:She searched for relief in books and workshops, but nothing really stuck until she found a system that actually helped her rewire the way that she experienced life.
Speaker A:So through her work with inner matrix systems, Sarah discovered how to not only manage emotions, but to train them, like building an inner fitness.
Speaker A:And in the process, she shifted from surviving to thriving.
Speaker A:Today she helps others do the same.
Speaker A:I've known Sarah for five years or so now and I can say that, you know, my job as a coach has been heavily influenced by her work with me as a coach for me.
Speaker A:She has been my mindfulness coach for, like I said, about five years or so now.
Speaker A:And today we're going to talk about emotional awareness.
Speaker A:How your feelings shape your reality and how to move from fear based reactions to love based responses in everyday life.
Speaker A:If you've ever felt like your emotions are running the show or like you're stuck in the loop of old patterns, this one is for you.
Speaker A:Sarah.
Speaker A:Welcome to Cool Change.
Speaker A:I'd love to start with your journey.
Speaker A:What led you to mindfulness coaching and the work that you do around emotions?
Speaker B:Hi Chuck.
Speaker B:Thanks so much for having me back.
Speaker B:You know, like you mentioned in your introduction, I was a very anxious person and I worried about everything like you mentioned also from the state of the environment, the starving children in the world, the political environment, to my dog is limping, maybe he has a tumor and he's going to die and everything in between.
Speaker B:And I did at the time read a lot of great books.
Speaker B:I went to some weekend workshops and while they were inspiring, they really didn't do anything to change my experience and definitely didn't change my experience of my anxiety.
Speaker B:So once the book ended or the workshop ended, there was nothing to follow.
Speaker B:So 16 years ago, I engaged in inner matrix systems.
Speaker B:It was really the first time that I not only experienced a deep sense of peace and calm by the end of that workshop, but there was actually a whole system of training to take with me and to practice these micro steps of techniques, much like an inner fitness gym.
Speaker B:So the program went far beyond inspiring and it was actually a system that was tangible and that I could practice just a little bit each day.
Speaker B:So I started showing up differently, more calm, more peaceful.
Speaker B:I was definitely more happy and confident.
Speaker B:And people noticed that, they started asking questions about what I was up to.
Speaker B:Why are you so peaceful and happy all the time now?
Speaker B:Now?
Speaker B:And I was a really shy and introverted engineer and it was hard for me to talk to people about it.
Speaker B:But I really felt a pull to become a certified trainer and to support people because of the difference it had made in my life.
Speaker B:I just really wanted to pay it forward and offer people that same opportunity.
Speaker B: So back in: Speaker B:And to date, it's been certainly the most fulfilling thing I've ever done.
Speaker A:Well, I can tell you that even when there are months where I'm like, I don't really have any specific problem that I need to come to Sarah with and I consider like, maybe we just don't, we don't meet this month.
Speaker A:We do.
Speaker A:And 100% of the time I get some form of wisdom, some tool, some way of thinking that, well, it's fantastic because otherwise I wouldn't continue doing it for five years.
Speaker A:I mean, I've not done anything for five years consistently.
Speaker A:And so it sounds like you like us.
Speaker A:A lot of people that I know are someone who was into doom scrolling, maybe even through the news or, you know, there's the things that are right in front of you that cause stress, but then also that wasn't good enough.
Speaker A:You also wanted to stress about world affairs and global everything, you know, to the point where life was just difficult and stressful and it had an impact, probably, I would guess, on your work performance and your relationships and everything else.
Speaker B:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker B:Anxiety, you know, it wasn't the only what I call a fear spectrum emotion to control my experience, but it was definitely the heavy hitter.
Speaker B:And I worried about everything, like I mentioned, but it was very specific, like what I have done and shouldn't have done and what, what I was behind on and what I should be up to and I'm not doing this and I'm not hitting the mark or I'm not doing as good as so and so.
Speaker B:And I don't know so much if I doom scrolled.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:But everywhere I looked, I could find reasons to be anxious and that really shaped my experience.
Speaker A:And you didn't pass up an opportunity to be anxious?
Speaker B:I did not pass up an opportunity.
Speaker B:I took every opportunity.
Speaker B:And it's so interesting to me now as I look back and go, wow, like, what a way to live.
Speaker B:Like, at the time it was me, it was me, and it was normalized.
Speaker B:It wasn't out of the norm.
Speaker B:Today when I'm anxious, you know, it still comes up, but it's not like, oh, I've evolved my pattern of anxiety and I never feel that anymore.
Speaker B:I do feel it, but I absolutely have the ability to navigate it and to shift it so that I get to experience peace today where I used to feel anxiety.
Speaker A:Yeah, and you're choosing it and you're training it.
Speaker A:It's one of the things that I've picked up along the way in talking to you is that, you know, I used to treat emotions as sort of the result of whatever was happening around me and, and now I've got a much clearer understanding that we can choose to a large extent the emotional space that we want to live in and then we can have that shape our thinking and everything inside of it.
Speaker A:And you know, I used to do all the work, even back in the day with Tony Robbins even, and he said something similar, but it was different.
Speaker A:But it had to do with the idea of choosing your state.
Speaker A:And even that way back then, way before I met you, was a really powerful idea that you could choose the state, your emotional state, your physiological state, and then inside of that you could think more clearly, have your best wits about you.
Speaker A:You could, you could just make better choices.
Speaker A:So we'll get into all of that in a little bit, but one question I've got for you is what role did emotions play in your own personal transformation?
Speaker A:And then how did you come to realize their power in shaping our experience of life?
Speaker B:Yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker B:So that experience of anxiety obviously shaped my life.
Speaker B:To be very particular.
Speaker B:To be worried all the time and focused on the reasons you have to be worried or anxious was not a great experience.
Speaker B:It was very much being in survival mode.
Speaker B:And so when I learned that I could actually choose my emotional space and learn how to do that, you know, you just mentioned that idea of choosing our emotional response rather than reacting.
Speaker B:There is a way to do that.
Speaker B:You have to have some skill set and some training.
Speaker B:But if I can accept that I'm feeling anxious not because of what's happening around me, but rather because I have a pattern of being anxious, then I can learn to evolve that to go, oh, if I train peace right now, oh, I'm feeling peaceful.
Speaker B:I focus on peace.
Speaker B:I use breath, work, and other techniques to calm myself down and feel peaceful.
Speaker B:Now all of a sudden, I have at least the starting point to get.
Speaker B:You have to get stronger and stronger at it as time goes on.
Speaker B:But I feel peaceful because I have a pattern of being peaceful, and I can choose to show up a different way.
Speaker B:It's much more of a thriving experience of life rather than surviving.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You know, a couple things come to mind there.
Speaker A:One is, there is a saying that I love called find the good.
Speaker A:It's a great purpose in life.
Speaker A:You know, if you're someone who is looking to find the good.
Speaker A:And I know a lot of folks have been introduced to a lot of people over the years who.
Speaker A:Theirs is a little different.
Speaker A:It's find the fear or find the bad, and they find those sorts of things inevitably.
Speaker A:And sometimes I'll have conversations with people who will say things like, you know, you're making me feel.
Speaker A:Fill in the blank.
Speaker A:You're making me angry, you're making me feel anxious, you're making me feel whatever.
Speaker A:And, you know, these days, after a lot of the training that we've done together, I have a sense in which, you know.
Speaker A:But am I making you do anything?
Speaker A:Am I making you.
Speaker A:I mean, we're having a conversation, but you just said this idea that people have within them patterns of behavior, and they can be triggered by external influences, but still, at the end of the day, it's something that we can have influence and that we can have control over, right?
Speaker B:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker B:Again, with tools and training, I.
Speaker B:One thing I don't love, and I hear it all the time kind of on social Media or other things where it's like, oh, you can choose to feel however you want to feel.
Speaker B:It's kind of true, but it's also not true if you don't know how.
Speaker B:I did not know how before I had training.
Speaker B:I, much like yourself, thought that what I was feeling was a result of the events happening around me.
Speaker B:And that's a very disempowering way to live because that's not something we can control.
Speaker B:We can't control what people say or do or the events of the world, or if we get sick or someone we love gets ill or passes away.
Speaker B:None of that is within our control.
Speaker B:So if we want to live empowered, we have to take some actions to reframe the stories around our emotions and really be like, I feel this way because I have a pattern of feeling this way.
Speaker B:And if I want to feel confident or love in place of anxiety or fear, then I have to start telling a new story and reframing it.
Speaker A:I know in work that I do with my clients, one of the most frequently used tools that we will practice is creating a gap between stimulus and response.
Speaker A:Something happens to me and I am immediately inclined to react in a certain way.
Speaker A:And through certain exercises and tools and ways of thinking, we find ways to create a gap between the thing that happened and then give us just a moment to observe what has happened without reacting to it instinctively.
Speaker A:And in that moment, choose a response that best suits us and best suits the relationship and the conversation so that we have our best wits about us.
Speaker B:Yeah, I definitely would say that's been a huge part of my own training.
Speaker B:And I would say it's very much a key to creating more emotional capacity or more emotional maturity in life.
Speaker B:Like learning to pause before I speak.
Speaker B:Really assessing, like, is what I'm about to say going to really get me the outcome I'm looking to create?
Speaker B:If we just stopped and asked that one question, I think it's a really big game changer for people because mostly we're in a space of reaction, right.
Speaker B:Some emotion gets activated and before we're even thinking or definitely not assessing, we're just just speaking or doing or taking some action.
Speaker B:Writing a text or an email in reaction, it's like, oh, that creates an outcome that can't be taken back.
Speaker B:There's no take backsies once we put it out there.
Speaker B:And so just that you call it a gap or a pause?
Speaker B:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker B:I say fill that pause in with.
Speaker B:Is what I'm about to do going to get the result that I Want.
Speaker A:One of the most surprising things that I learned when we first started working together, there was an exercise that we did where throughout the day there was sort of a random trigger, a random alarm that I would set or something where I would check in on my emotions throughout the day.
Speaker A:And I have to tell you, I was shocked at the degree to which I had negative, disempowering, fearful emotions a lot.
Speaker A:I was always in contingency planning mode.
Speaker A:What is the worst thing that's going to happen?
Speaker A:What bad thing could happen, you know, and I guess there's a place for contingency planning, but if you live in a place of worst case scenarios and constantly running that reel through your mind, it's got to have an effect on your everyday performance, your everyday relationships.
Speaker A:And so I came to an awareness that my emotions throughout the day were completely not serving me in any sort of a helpful way.
Speaker A:And I think most people don't consciously check in with their emotions throughout the day.
Speaker A:Question for you is why do you think that is?
Speaker A:And what are the consequences of living unaware of our emotional states?
Speaker B:Well, I know I was never taught to check in.
Speaker B:We aren't taught, as you know, I'd say a culture or society, it's just not part of our upbringing.
Speaker B:I mean, my parents didn't to and they didn't teach me to and it kind of goes on.
Speaker B:But if nobody shows us how or tells us the value of doing that, of checking in, then people simply aren't going to do it.
Speaker B:If I wasn't taught any practices around mindfulness, self awareness or the benefits of such a thing until I really started to train mindfully, then why would I do that?
Speaker B:Like you need, we need to understand the value of something before we're going to engage in the practice.
Speaker B:I just reacted, you know, kind of like what you're saying.
Speaker B:I just reacted to people and events constantly without any assessment or consideration of what kind of reality I was creating for myself.
Speaker B:And living that way, I continued to create, well, in my case, more reasons to be anxious or overwhelmed.
Speaker B:In someone else's case, living that way leads to reasons to feel frustrated or angry because it's such a reactionary space to be in.
Speaker A:Well, I know you encourage people now to set an intention for what they want to feel.
Speaker A:Talk to us about the power of that practice and how does it help someone shift their emotional patterns?
Speaker B:Yeah, so before my training, I never really had an intention set of what I wanted to feel.
Speaker B:I never had anything to weigh my actions and decisions against or to assess the way my mind was operating and ask does this align with how I want to feel or not?
Speaker B:I just did based on my emotional state in the moment.
Speaker B:Over and over again, I just reacted.
Speaker B:But what I've learned through my own training is that without this intention, all I do is react like a pinball bouncing off of events and people as they happen and essentially recreate the experiences I already know.
Speaker B:This intention guides everything for me today.
Speaker B:I can't imagine living without something to calibrate against.
Speaker B:Again, like I had mentioned earlier, this assessment.
Speaker B:Is what I'm about to say or do going to take me towards the outcomes that I want or is it going to take me somewhere else?
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker A:So when you think about how emotions and states of mind interact, you know, for example, like how does an emotion like joy then influence our thoughts and behaviors compared to an emotion like fear?
Speaker B:Yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker B:So when I'm joyful, I notice that my mind operates joyfully, meaning that I will rationalize the reasons I'm joyful.
Speaker B:My mind is focused on the things I look forward to.
Speaker B:But if on the other hand, I'm feeling fearful, my mind operates in a very different way.
Speaker B:It's rationalizing the reasons I have to be fearful.
Speaker B:And for me, fear shows up as anxiety.
Speaker B:So my thoughts are focused on all the things I should be worried about, most of which I can't control.
Speaker B:And the action I take when I'm joyful is a hundred percent different than when I'm feeling anxious or fearful.
Speaker B:Thus my reality will look very different in both of these situations.
Speaker B:180 degree difference.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Well, you know, that reminds me again that the tools that I use in my coaching are different from yours, but they seek to serve some of the same purposes.
Speaker A:I've got this mental device, I call it the magnetic orb.
Speaker A:It's this bowling ball sized magnet, basically invisible, floats just in front of me, off to the side.
Speaker A:And when someone says something to me that is just incendiary, something that it's just mean, spirit, or maybe it's just very critical and I don't want to hear it.
Speaker A:Whatever it is, I imagine for a moment that those words, rather than hit me, wound me, caused me to react, are collected on this magnetic orb, this bowling ball thing.
Speaker A:And for a minute I, or just for a second, I have the ability to observe those words without having them hitting me and wounding me.
Speaker A:And in that I find that the emotional state that I have and therefore how I react is very different.
Speaker A:Instead of being immediately fearful, hurt, frustrated, I am Curious.
Speaker A:I look at those words that were spoken to me and I might say something like, wow, you are super angry right now, or clearly I have done something that I'm unaware of that has really caused you some, some pain here.
Speaker A:But the point is, is that because I am not coming from this triggered pattern of frustration, fear, emotion, whatever that is, my best wits are about me at least.
Speaker A:And from that place, maybe I'm not all the way to joy, but I'm in a place of calm, I'm in a place of confidence.
Speaker A:I am going to react differently in those ones.
Speaker A:Kind of what you're talking about as well.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think that goes back to what we were saying about creating some space between the triggering event in maybe someone says something to you and the time in which you take action.
Speaker B:And for me, yes, there's space for sure, but also that again, going back to that question, is what I'm about to say going to impact in the way that creates my intention, which is often things like, I want to know more joy and connection and love in life, more confidence.
Speaker B:So is what I'm about to say going to support that or take me somewhere else?
Speaker B:And yeah, I think it's also important to not just have an intention for ourself in mind, but also in that scenario that you mentioned, it's like when people do say something, let's say hurtful to us, I'd say for the most part, from my experience, it's not intentional.
Speaker B:People are also inside of just reacting constantly to external triggers and their own patterning.
Speaker B:So if someone's feeling insecure or unworthy, yeah, they're gonna speak from that place.
Speaker B:And if they don't have a high level of emotional capacity or resilience or they're playing the blame game all the time, not because they're a bad person, but because nobody has shown them another way to think about things or another way to feel about things, then immediately I can assess like, oh, this, this isn't actually personal.
Speaker B:And I can approach it from a much more compassionate space.
Speaker B:And I think a lot of people would like to have that ability.
Speaker B:But again, I think without training, our nervous system reacts so quickly to things.
Speaker B:If you're not well trained, it's really hard to put that into action.
Speaker A:Well, so when people argue that emotions are their reactions to external circumstances, I mean, what is your response to that and about how we truly can take ownership of how we feel?
Speaker B:Yeah, you know, this idea that emotions are just reaction to external circumstances, that's exactly what I used to think that my emotions reactions to people and events, and that's just how it was.
Speaker B:And then I learned that there's actually a way to activate the emotions I choose.
Speaker B:So when I started training, I just wanted to know peace no matter what was happening around me.
Speaker B:So I've learned how to do that.
Speaker B:It's not always easy, but using tools and techniques, I can really feel peace in all kinds of situations.
Speaker B:I've trained consistently for 16 years now to evolve my anxiety responses to a calm, peaceful response.
Speaker B:Confidence, compassion, gratitude.
Speaker B:These are other emotions I'm consciously training as a primary response to things that I perceive as less than optimal.
Speaker B:Like as an example, someone saying something hurtful to me, or maybe getting feedback from a client or something they're not happy with something I've done or said.
Speaker B:It's like I want to own my emotional response.
Speaker B:And by doing that, I can leverage that to shift it to something I choose, like compassion as an example.
Speaker A:Let's talk about relationships for a minute.
Speaker A:I know you know there are some limits to what we can discuss today in terms of very specific methods and techniques because you are a certified trainer for ims and there's some proprietary stuff there, and so we can't get into a lot of those specifics.
Speaker A:I would tell our listeners that while this is not a commercial or an Advertisement For IMs, I am a big believer in the work that you all do.
Speaker A:And if you really want to dig into some of the specifics and the methods of the training on how to do this, then we'll provide some resources here at the end of this episode and also in the show notes that people can figure out how to do that.
Speaker A:So we'll get as close as we can in our conversation here about what people can do and how they can shift their awareness and so forth.
Speaker A:But we may not be able to go into very, very specific methods in this conversation.
Speaker A:But when we think about relationships as a space to talk about, how do our emotional patterns affect the way that we connect with others?
Speaker A:And then how can we use emotional awareness to improve our relationships?
Speaker B:When I reflect back on my relationships from years ago, I'll just be candid.
Speaker B:I was immature much of the time, meaning I was not assessing my emotional state as I interacted with people.
Speaker B:And at was often blaming others for how I felt and fussing significantly when I didn't get my own way or when my expectations weren't being met.
Speaker B:Sometimes this was allowed and other times it was in my head.
Speaker B:It was probably mostly in my head conversations of anger with someone Else occurring in my head.
Speaker B:I think people can understand that.
Speaker B:But either way, it's not the way to create thriving relationships.
Speaker B:I spend a lot of time today checking in on my emotional state before I respond to people and asking myself, is again, the thing I'm about to do or say, will it get me the outcome I want?
Speaker B:The tools I've learned have changed all of my relationships in an extraordinary way.
Speaker B:I'm much more present.
Speaker B:I have intentions set that I'm striving toward.
Speaker B:Most of those intentions I set in regards to relationships are within my control, though.
Speaker B:Like, yes, I have certain expectations around how I'd want to be treated by my romantic partner or my friendships.
Speaker B:But really that intention has so much to do with who I want to be, what do I want to embody, how do I want to impact and influence people?
Speaker B:And so, yeah, having the right skill set for that, it's extraordinary because also, relationships aren't just in our personal space.
Speaker B:They're at work and they're with our businesses, and they extend to pretty much every area of our life.
Speaker A:I want to take a little.
Speaker A:Just a quick pause, slash, tangent here.
Speaker A:And we've.
Speaker A:We've been talking about the idea of training just to give people a sense of what training looks like.
Speaker A:You know, one of the things that I have learned over the years from you is that a lot of the training needs to influence our subconscious mind, maybe even our unconscious mind.
Speaker A:It's not something that we can sit down at our desk and think about and have that be training or review a set of bullet points or even do affirmations.
Speaker A:In order for us to influence our subconscious, perhaps even unconscious mind, we're going to have to meditate.
Speaker A:We're going to have to get very quiet.
Speaker A:We're going to have to consistently create a practice where we are accessing different brainwaves than we typically do in our conscious world.
Speaker A:To the extent that you can, could you just give us a sense of, like, when someone chooses to start training their emotions or training toward a certain vision that they have for a relationship or for a career, what sort of work might they expect to do in that training?
Speaker B:I think things that are really effective and keys to a really transformative experience.
Speaker B:You know, there's a recipe like consistency.
Speaker B:When you do find certain tools, like meditation's a very blanket term.
Speaker B:We don't even call it meditation and inner matrix systems.
Speaker B:We call it inner training only to separate anybody's preconceived ideas.
Speaker B:But, you know, tools like various kinds of inner training, breath work, changing the lens through which we're perceiving events, learning to identify things like facts versus own stories about the facts, learning to identify vision and intention is a tool all in itself.
Speaker B:Consistency over time is so critical to making change.
Speaker B:Like, I cannot stress that enough.
Speaker B:It would be much more effective for people to find something and consistently engage in 20 minutes a day versus just going to, you know, some week long program and doing nothing outside of that.
Speaker B:So consistency of action over time with the right kind of tools and training is critical.
Speaker B:The other piece that I'll speak to is getting the nervous system involved.
Speaker B:So much of what's out there today is intellectual, it's thinking about things and that has a role, of course.
Speaker B:But if we don't actually learn how to train the nervous system and our emotional experience, it's going to be very challenging to make sustainable changes.
Speaker B:You know, I spoke a lot of the anxiety I used to feel and how much peace and joy I feel today, it's so very different.
Speaker B:But the root of my, I would say successful is that I've learned to train my emotional experience, actually get out of my head, activate new emotions like peace, gratitude, joy, confidence, and take action from that place.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Well, I think, you know, it's probably fair to say that when people are struggling with emotions like guilt, shame, unworthiness, or they have a difficulty by experiencing overwhelm during especially challenging moments, or if they feel disconnected from their emotions or they're not sure where to start, I'm guessing that the first step you'd recommend is that they're just going to have to get in touch with someone, some coach, someone who's qualified to support their mind and their emotions, their nervous system with some proper training.
Speaker B:Yeah, definitely, because I think it's really when I think of my own journey and I've also read a lot of books of like really successful people, like in general, but also certainly people that have been very successful on the journey of self mastery.
Speaker B:Like nobody's done that alone.
Speaker B:Like, it's so very hard to see ourselves and to navigate our own, you know, our own ego nature, our own internal patterning.
Speaker B:So getting in touch with somebody that can, you know, who's already done much work, they are all, they're credentialized because of the outcomes they've created and the shifts they've made.
Speaker B:But getting that support to have, whether you call it a mentor, a coach, a guide, a trainer, it gets so very supportive to have someone outside of myself supporting me on this journey.
Speaker B:I could never have done this without the Support and training of my mentor.
Speaker A:Well, look, if as we wrap up here, if there was one takeaway that you'd want listeners to remember about the power of emotions, what would that be?
Speaker B:So, yeah, emotions, emotional intelligence, emotional capacity, however you want to think about it, emotions and what we feel to determine our experience and whether we're going to thrive or whether we're just going to survive and just try to live one more day.
Speaker B:This is becoming more and more understood and I really feel at this point that it's science and it's proven without the ability to train our emotional space and rewire our nervous system, we'll continue to do the same thing and then we'll continue to get the same or very similar results.
Speaker B:Emotion first, then you get to experience something.
Speaker B:Something very different.
Speaker A:Okay, well, thank you, Sarah.
Speaker A:I'm going to include your contact information in the show notes.
Speaker A:So but just quickly, where can people learn more about your work and connect with you?
Speaker B:Yeah, I appreciate you having me on so much.
Speaker B:And just as a note, I'd love to offer your audience an opportunity to have an introductory three session course with me.
Speaker B:If that's something that interests them.
Speaker B:This course would identify an area in their life that they would really like to up level identify the patterns that are holding them back and what to do about it.
Speaker B: -: Speaker A:Well, again, I'll put those in the show notes so that people can find those more easily after the show.
Speaker A:But you are one of our very few return guests.
Speaker A:Your first episode from several years ago was very well received and so I appreciate you coming back here and I appreciate the work that you and I do together month in and month out to help me navigate all of the challenges.
Speaker A:I mean if this were easy, we'd all have it figured out by now.
Speaker A:And if it didn't require training, we could just throw our hands up and be like, okay, we got it now, we should be good to go.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:But you've been at this for 15, 16 years.
Speaker A:You continue to train hard and you are influencing me to do the same.
Speaker A:And also my wife Rilla also meets with you monthly.
Speaker A:And so we are big proponents of this sort of work.
Speaker A:So thank you for all that you do.
Speaker B:Thank you so much, Chuck.
Speaker B:I appreciate it.
Speaker B:And thanks again for having me on.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Thank you for joining me today on Cool Change and Special thanks to my guest, Sarah Retzer, for sharing her wisdom on the power of emotional awareness and intentional living.
Speaker A:Remember, you've got more power than you think to reshape your emotional patterns, and with practice, we can all create a bit more peace, confidence, and joy in our daily lives.
Speaker A:If you'd like to learn more or work directly with Sarah, check the show notes for her contact information and that special introductory offer she mentioned.
Speaker A:And as always, as always, if you enjoyed this episode, I'd appreciate if you'd share it with someone you think could benefit.
Speaker A:Subscribe, rate, and review.
Speaker A:It really helps us reach more people who are ready for a cool change.
Speaker A:So until next time, keep living intentionally and I'll see you soon.
Speaker A:On the next Cool Change.
